The shitty thing about paying two bills for nosebleeds at UFC is that you have to sit near guys like this. The guy went on and on in this manner for the duration of the evening screaming very explicit instructions to the fighters. Remember, we’re sitting in the freakin nosebleeds.
It’s not a bad scan, she has really bad skin.
Stumbled upon this beauty on the google image search. Everyone remember Cynthia Rothrock? She was the hottest martial arts babe in the 80′s and partway into the 90′s. I dunno what happened… maybe the collective kung-fu movie watching world woke up one morning and did the proverbial roll-over. Were we all drunk?? There was a *GASP* all in unison that day as we scrambled to put our pants back on and hide the tissues. I for one feel utterly bamboozled by this woman.
Admittedly, as a prebubescent boy I found her intriguing. Wow.. she has big tits AND she could spin kick me to death. Mind you it wasn’t that she was hot. She was kinda average. It was arousing and petrifying at the same time. But now that I am older and no longer spending the majority of my time fighting acne, I can look at the photo above, and feel genuine nausea.
Here’s how the biography on her official website opens:
Cynthia Rothrock is one of the greatest martial arts/action film stars in the world
BTW, her site is way hot edgy astonishingly hideous. But let’s not get distracted by that. Return now to the above quote. If by “greatest”, you mean appearing in and producing as many god-awful films as possible in the span of two decades, then maybe. I mean really… that is a bold statement. What makes a person a great film star is how they influence the culture or the field of expertise. Did her efforts improve the martial arts? Did her efforts change our cultural understanding of anything?! I would argue not… except maybe confirming that bulging musculature on women is genuinely unattractive. Even her tits are rippling… oh wait, that’s just the silicone bag wrinkling. Want more? Hiyaaaaa!!
Granted, the martial arts are largely a male-dominated sport, and some hand-clapping is in order here. Although it’s arguable that she’s really a woman. That’s for another post, though. Cynthia has, according to that same bio, been inducted into several completely useless Halls of Fame. But it seems to me that the best way to undo all the acclaim and respect you may gain as a competitive martial artist is to make bad martial arts movies.
The Hong Kong productions that she appeared in were actually decent. But every film done by Americans during that time… for lack of a better term… sucked ass. Takes a lot of balls [tee hee!] to dare to unleash this kind of crap upon the world.
Here’s an excerpt from Undefeatable. The comments on Amazon.com made us laugh hysterically.
I’ve never seen acting so bad in a commercial flick. Monkeys could have done a better job given the right amount of bananas.
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*EDIT* – If you are looking for a serious analysis and fight outcome, go here.
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While part of me wants to believe that Jiu-Jitsu will conquer all, there’s another more pragmatic side that believes that Hughes will overpower Royce. I visualize hundreds of red state fans pulling their dicks out of their sisters and firing their shotguns into the air. Yeah! Fuck that brown kid up!
Probably voted for Bush.
I have a lot of respect for Hughes as a fighter. He is relentless and a total powerhouse. But after seeing his personality come out in The Ultimate Fighter, I now realize that he’s not just a champion… but he’s also an asshole. There wasn’t anything more satisfying than to see BJ Penn choke him out.
Royce likes to write his name on his gi to avoid any confusion.
Don’t get me wrong though, I don’t love Royce either. I think he’s in over his head—his head that is many many times the size that it should be—as seems to be the Gracie tradition. After Sakuraba beat Royler, the only thing that Royler could say was that Sakuraba is the Japanese equivalent of the Gracies. Come on. That’s like saying, “hey you kicked my ass, so you must be (almost) as good as me”. Give me a fucking break. Get over yourselves.
Royler Gracie’s magical swivel arm
Royce really should just retire. He’s a pioneer, and he’s sitting pretty on the Gracie JJ empire they’ve built. I’d take respect and dignity over a million bucks. Especially when you probably already have a million bucks. Anyway, that’s moot cuz Royce is doing it anyway.
My ideal fight outcome is that a suplex goes wrong and they both break their necks simultaneously. Hmm.. wonder if the bookie would take something like that…
