Forget the Virgin Mary on a tortilla or Jesus on toast. I’ve hit it big here with my Chuck Liddell orange. I believe that if I consume it, it will imbue me with the powers of the Iceman. I will be able to stuff any takedown attempt, knock people out by merely touching my knuckles to their face, and be immune to pre-fight anxiety. Only problem is that I don’t know how long these powers will hold their effect. So I’m just going to leave it in the fruit bowl until the right time. I’ll let you know how that goes.

I don’t know much about hockey. But I do know that it would be much less fun to watch if it weren’t for the fighting. Here’s a highlight reel of a dude named Wendel Clark, who according to my Canadian friends was one hell of a player. I dunno about playing, but he’s sure good at scrappin’. Plus the music is teh awesome.

Check out the takedowns too… frickin a.