Matt Hughes is selling t-shirts on his site that celebrate his victory over Royce Gracie. Now I’m all for celebrations, but this is just out of line. I mean it could be worse, but c’mon at least have some respect. Why would you do that to the father of MMA? Ohh right.. because you are a fucking arrogant jerkoff.

I do my best to give Hughes his due on this blog about as much as I make fun of him, but this kind of pushes me over. And I know that hating someone who is all about hate is pointless, but at least it’s fun—and it makes for some good light reading for you guys.

Anyway, back to the store. BTW, I’m only linking this for reference. If any of you buy any products from this trailer motherfucker, I will personally armbar your face. Or is that a facebar… whatever… if you give him money the baby Jesus cries.

My personal favorites are the Bible verse t-shirts. No wonder he keeps winning! God likes him!

**SPOILERS**

Team Mojo, having control of the fights, picked Gideon Ray from Team No Love to fight their own Edwin DeWees. Both fighters had tough breaks in their debut fights, and had records of 0-2. Sadly, the fight wasn’t that eventful until Ray managed to open up a cut on the head of DeWees. Once that thing opened up, DeWees’ blond hair turned pink, and the octagon became a Jackson Pollock painting (or my header graphic). The amount of blood out there was just silly.

Three rounds of it went on, and the win went to DeWees. Personally, I think the fight should have been stopped. The whole explanation with the doctor I thought was a bit shady.

The Wikipedia says that the average adult is in medical danger after losing 2 pints of blood. Imagine 2 cans of Guinness. That’s a surprising figure to me, but I’m guessing DeWees may have lost about 1.5 pints? Don’t you start feeling woozy at some point? Doesn’t this seem like a health risk?

The teams:

This little gem was posted on the Sherdog forums. I guess a combed mullet, flowery shirt, and suspenders count as “dressing up” for picture day in Illinois.

Business in the front, party in the back!

Stolen and condensed from the Lockflow.com forums.

• Filling in a job application, you list “can break an arm in six different places” as a skill you possess
• You shave your head because long hair is a disadvantage
• You don’t hit on girls, you “shoot for the takedown”
• You pronounce everybodys name that starts with an “R” like it is an “H”
• Hugging your girlfriend, you secretly practice kimuras and chokes
• You wonder if MMA techniques would work if you were attacked by a wild animal like a panther or gorilla, (armbar or choke hold)
• Every time you get a hug, you NEED to have the underhooks
• You can’t just roll over in bed, now you hip-escape
• You know what cauliflower ear is, and there is a part of you that thinks it is cool
• You are constantly doing rear naked chokes and Kimuras on your pets
• You see some small kids fighting outside and mock them for having a lousy take-down
• Wearing tight trunks in front of thousands of people is cool to you now
• Without even thinking, you shadow box at random times like naked before jumping into the shower
• When most of your tshirts are ripped on the collar from training
• When a normal sleepy twitch turns into a jab or a kick
• When 99% of your computer hard drive is full of mma rather than porn

** THIS POST CONTAINS EXTREME WEB NERDERY ** and I will probably lose most of you partway through. But I have to get this off my gotdamn chest.

Whenever websites require the use of Internet Explorer on a PC with ActiveX to get to something on the internet, it makes me angry. In fact, whenever any site MAKES you do anything to reach its content, it makes me angry. It’s like saying, “my shit is so great, I will MAKE you jump through hoops to get to it”. Fuck, that pisses me off. So pissed that I had to make a blog entry title with as much spunk as this one.

First off, right before UFC VOD launched, UFC fights began disappearing from places like YouTube. This made me sad. As you can guess, I’m not exactly a proponent of Digital Rights Management. My opinion on this is even stronger when it comes to MMA because I believe that in order to generate fanfare, people need to see old fights. This is what generates high gate and PPV revenues, which is where most of Zuffa and Pride’s money comes from. DVD sales? Not so much. Is it because of piracy or YouTube? I doubt it.

OK back to the browser issue with video.ufc.com (I’m not even going to link to it because I hate it so much). ActiveX is Microsoft-ware that basically allows a web application to access your computer. It’s gone through a gauntlet of updates because of security issues alone, much less functional issues—basically it’s a piece of shit on fire. I’m guessing that they are using it to keep you from stealing the video and distributing it elsewhere, which I have issues with inherently, but I find it hard to believe that there aren’t other options.

According to the visitor stats for this very blog you’re reading, 29% of you are using Firefox. If I could meet each and every one of you I would shake your hand, pat you on the ass, look you in the eyes and say, “Thank you” in an earnest and sincere fashion. So let’s say that my relatively small sample size is accurate. This means that video.ufc.com is blocking access to 1/3 of all of their visitors. Nice work, retards. Welcome to the InterWeb. And if that weren’t enough, 11% of you are using Macs. None of you will be able to access it, but it’s not because YOU are on a Mac… it’s because the UFC doesn’t understand web standards.

The worst part of this is that if you aren’t using IE on a PC, you can still make purchases! How fucked up is that? If you’re on a Mac, you’d be dropping cash on videos that you can’t even fucking watch. So listen up, my little monkeys: keep posting on YouTube, and don’t buy anything from that store. Maybe that way it will do the only thing that it should be doing—go away.

Thank you for listening.