The California State Athletic Commission is in the midst of setting up new rules and standards for mixed martial arts (MMA) competitions. While we are all for anything that will help push MMA into the mainstream, we hope they don’t water it down too much. I mean c’mon… we already have pro rasslin.
Part of these standards include standardizing gloves and we’ve decided to drop a few suggestions for the CSAC that we feel would minimize injury and increase viewership. We’ve also taken the liberty of creating some photoshop mockups of these high-performance gloves in action.
C-H-U-C-K-E-Y
Sapp SMASH!!!!
Y? Because we like you!
We even found some gloves for our True Northern Neighbors!
Stumbled upon this beauty on the google image search. Everyone remember Cynthia Rothrock? She was the hottest martial arts babe in the 80’s and partway into the 90’s. I dunno what happened… maybe the collective kung-fu movie watching world woke up one morning and did the proverbial roll-over. Were we all drunk?? There was a *GASP* all in unison that day as we scrambled to put our pants back on and hide the tissues. I for one feel utterly bamboozled by this woman.
Admittedly, as a prebubescent boy I found her intriguing. Wow.. she has big tits AND she could spin kick me to death. Mind you it wasn’t that she was hot. She was kinda average. It was arousing and petrifying at the same time. But now that I am older and no longer spending the majority of my time fighting acne, I can look at the photo above, and feel genuine nausea.
Cynthia Rothrock is one of the greatest martial arts/action film stars in the world
BTW, her site is way hotedgy astonishingly hideous. But let’s not get distracted by that. Return now to the above quote. If by “greatest”, you mean appearing in and producing as many god-awful films as possible in the span of two decades, then maybe. I mean really… that is a bold statement. What makes a person a great film star is how they influence the culture or the field of expertise. Did her efforts improve the martial arts? Did her efforts change our cultural understanding of anything?! I would argue not… except maybe confirming that bulging musculature on women is genuinely unattractive. Even her tits are rippling… oh wait, that’s just the silicone bag wrinkling. Want more? Hiyaaaaa!!
Granted, the martial arts are largely a male-dominated sport, and some hand-clapping is in order here. Although it’s arguable that she’s really a woman. That’s for another post, though. Cynthia has, according to that same bio, been inducted into several completely useless Halls of Fame. But it seems to me that the best way to undo all the acclaim and respect you may gain as a competitive martial artist is to make bad martial arts movies.
The Hong Kong productions that she appeared in were actually decent. But every film done by Americans during that time… for lack of a better term… sucked ass. Takes a lot of balls [tee hee!] to dare to unleash this kind of crap upon the world.
Here’s an excerpt from Undefeatable. The comments on Amazon.com made us laugh hysterically.
I’ve never seen acting so bad in a commercial flick. Monkeys could have done a better job given the right amount of bananas.
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